July 03, 2011; 3:38PM


IS: So I kind of miss you
DT: Kind of? Le gasp! ;) I will be seeing you soon, this week yes?
IS: Sure thing
IS: Your le gasp made me laugh

I started freaking the fuck out when I got this text from him!
I remember one of my texts nearing the end saying, "Danni enjoys Ivan's company very much. But is afraid of telling him that she misses him too." Which he replied back with, "Don't be scared :)"

Man, Ivan is the sweetest and most gentlemanly guy I've met thus far!  I also realize yesterday that he's the only one so far that I have respected so much as to not to view in any kind of objectifying way.

Most guys that I have seen, all I do is objectify them.  Women objectifying men is usually unheard in normal conversation but that shit happens. Women use men for sex too.  And it's sad. But that's life, I guess.

But, I DON'T WANT TO GO "WITH" LIFE (HOW THINGS ARE), ALL THE TIME.
FUCK THE WAY THINGS ARE!! I WANT TO GO MY OWN WAY!!!

I will just "go with life" for awhile and then slowly make an impression and start my own path, people can choose to follow it if they'd like! I don't give a fuuuuck!

It's sad how I have to put up a front that I'm somewhat normal to lure people into getting to know me.

Eh, whatevez. I guess I just gotta lure them in with the notion that I'm at least somewhat normal, and then full on blast them with who I really am the next time I'm with them.

Wearing makeup to social gatherings....... I feel that it's kinda fake putting up the front that I look a certain way, when I really don't, naturally. MEH. WHATEVER. I will start with makeup and transition slowly from there.

Gotta boost my confidence levels a couple notches up, yee yeeeee!

Steffi and Cherry had a party last night over at Steffi's house. I knocked the fuck out from 6pm - 10pm. Wasn't feel good, felt like puking because I puked in the morning and all. But I woke up alright, slight headache. Ate an apple and felt a SHIT ton better. THANK YOU GREEN APPLE.

Realized that it's okay to invite people that don't know other people at the party. I invited James Bond because I felt like we needed more people.  Was afraid that he wouldn't get along with people because they wouldn't know each other. Lots of respect for him and his friends for just going around and talking to people.   Not making shit awkward.  I want to be like that. Just go to a party where I don't know anybody and start talking to them.

I hate how towards most of peers, I have to wear makeup for them to notice me or want to talk to me (boys, mostly). I fucking refuse to do that shit though. If you don't want to approach me or think I'm attractive without makeup then, FUUUUUCK you! I don't want to associate with you bitches!

Anyway, I was the only person sober (except for steven and ngoc) who was sober. EEEK! I'm super proud of them.  I probably would have more fun if I drank, but NO! I refuse to do so!!!! I will get used to parties sober, and THEN I will socially drink occasionally or whatever.  I don't want to be reliant on alcohol to have fun. FUCK NO!!!

I need to go to more parties....... Sober.  Just so I can put myself in more awkward situations. So I will learn how to easily handle these types of situations in the future.  YEEEAH!! TRAINING!!!!

I feel like designing my own t-shirts (clothes). It all looks so fucking easy.
I bought this crop trop from nikkilipstick for $25 and it was NOT even worth that much.
I was expecting a lot more for the quality. It's all hyphy shit anyway.

I think I can do WAY better for $20!

Probably going to have Xiu promote it!

I kind of seriously want to relive the past 1.5 weeks again. Seriously.

I had never been SO happy in my life.

Alex (June 22, 2011; 2:11PM): I have something to share with you, re-reading and rethinking about our relationship has brought up this old horrible feeling. 
I know I was your first serious relationship, and that you didn't really know what was going on most of the time psyche-wise, but you HAVE To bond with your partner. (I am not saying we didn't bond, I am saying we could've bonded better)
Something you have a hard time with is connecting on THEIR emotional or mental level. Bond with them, not over activities or silly dates (we did tons of that), bond with them emotionally, sit down, take their hand, and talk. just TALK, talk about their feelings, force them to share themselves.
We never did it, but I know I would've been a lot happier if we did. Something I felt throughout the entire thing was that you didn't care enough to try to reach deeper into me, into who I was. Now, I know that this isn't completely true, and there are factors that may change everything, such as my not completely being open with you, and that you not knowing what to say.
But you have to do it, you have to force it. "I shouldn't have to pressure you into sharing with me..." You're right, you SHOULDN'T have to, but sometimes you just do, sometimes, with some people, you just need to push a little bit for whatever reason. Life isn't set in stone, there's no perfect line to say to anyone, because everyone is generally different.
I don't know, I'm just going to incorporate this into future relationships, you might not have to, since you might meet a partner who's PERFECT at doing this. 
Point is, you suck at it, work at it. It's important, I guarantee you, if you succeed, you and that lucky person will be all the happier.

Wow, I was completely caught by surprise by this message from Alex.  He really does care about me.... I never thought I'd ever see him saying something of this nature to me.  It's something that is actually for my sole benefit and not for his.

I wish for  his the utmost happiness. He's talented. He'll find the perfect girl.

DT: Happy fathers day, ba!
Daddy: Ok,good daugter , try the best if DAN TAM can do (okay, good daughter try the best you can do)
DT: Ca mon ba! I love you very much!
Daddy: Ok

OH MY GOD!! I think I'm going to cry... I almost teared up getting the first text from my daddy!!! He is a man that rarely ever shows affection.  He seems very cold but I know that he loves us all!!! Oh god... I knew it was a good idea to text my daddy, happy father's day!! Ahaha I hope he shows it off to his friends and I hope all of his friends are jealous that their daughters or sons don't text them.

In this culture people value youth, and the ability to be able to be up to date with technology is a sign of youth and being up to date with modern society.  Being able to text is one of those things.  Not many adults are able to text with their phones efficiently, but those that do are revered as being tech savvy (or at least tech savvier than most of their peers).

Children are usually very distant to their parents (or at least try to distance themselves away from their parents), in means of independence.  To be frank, children nowadays (my peers) would usually almost never text their parents unless they want something from them.  So me texting my father, something of somewhat sentimental value (even though texting is so impersonal) means a lot.

MYAAAH!! I'm so happy!! I really want to make daddy feel loved.... I feel that he feels left out because  me, gh, and chi uyen don't ever really show affection towards daddy.  I showed him affection on his birthday by giving him a big hug and then I showed him affection by making him give me a kiss on the cheek before I left gh's graduation dinner to head off to fry's to by a charger for my camera!

EEE! Happy! Must show daddy more affection and reassure him that he is loved!!!