Nobody wants to be alone.
The heart beats happy when it has a place.
And if it doesn't have a home
It can come into my space.

So you can be the one I love.
I can be the one you long for.
You can be the one I want... want.
And you can be the one I love.
This could be our world wide open.
You can be the one I want... want.

When you've fallen for someone
But that someone doesn't feel the same.
But before you come undone
You can call out my name.

So you can be the one I love.
I can be the one you long for.
You can be the one I want... want.
And you can be the one I love.
This could be our world wide open.
You can be the one I want... want.

(So you can be the one... one one one
I can be the one... one one one
So you can be the one... one one one
I can be the one... one one one)

So you can be the one I love.
I can be the one you long for.
You can be the one I want... want.
And you can be the one I love.
This could be our world wide open.
You can be the one I want... want.

Audiotistic was a blast last night. Simon is a really cool guy. I really don't want to hurt him.
I also find it really strange how eerily parallel our lives/personalities are.

Anyway, I don't know, not to think too much into the future, but I kind of have a feeling that I'd drop every guy for Adam..... I don't know... We'll see.

On a lighter note, I think I should invest in a Disneyland pass. 
I would use Disneyland as a place to escape and hide in whenever I'm feeling anti-social.

I've been feeling really unproductive these past 3 days... Need to work on the Spreadsheet.
Need to set some time out to ride. I don't want to be hanging out with friends everyday.
I also get really fucking irritated whenever I tell my friends I'm not able to hang out and then they'd freak out on me and get mad or complain. I hate having to stop my momentum.  It's so hard to get it rolling, but once it's rolling, it's all smoothness from there.

Learning another foreign languages is a skill that I can hone by myself that can get me to places really easily.
Imagine myself... Fluent in 6 languages and putting that down on my resume...
I KNOW that I have the ability to do so, I just need to learn how to FOCUS and FOLLOW THROUGH.
I'm going to try really hard to focus on Mandarin....  Cherry's friend from Humboldt, Matthew is an inspiration! Fluent Mandarin in 6 MONTHS. Wow. That is pure inspiration and motivation right there.


Languages to Learn:
- Chinese (Mandarin) ****
- Arabic
- Spanish
- Korean
- Latin

What to do by the end of this summer:
- Apply for organizations that Ira recommended
- Volunteer
- Read "Irony of Democracy"
- Re-read certain chapters from Poli Sci textbook
- Practice my Chinese

I plan on being popular and well loved all around.
Using that title and reputation of mine to inspire people and motivate them to be productive and helpful, loving members of their community.

I think I should start by building my name through youtube.
I can definitely do it. I already have almost 700 subscribers...
That's a nice start. Right?

CamCam called me again! Iono.... I am somewhat suspicious of his motives!
He told me that I was mind blowing and an amazing person when I asked what he thought of me as a person.
He said I was selfless, amazing, wonderful person!  I want to ask him what made him think I was a selfless person. I will save that for when I see him in real life next weekend!

He's a total cutie though.... Says that at the moment he really wants to cuddle with me...
Aww man what the hell....... ;__; That makes my heart skip a beat...... I want to cuddle with him too.....

I'm not quite sure why he's all of a sudden pursuing me.... I suspicious....... But yesh, must think in the present, "be here now, be here now, be here now".

Okay seriously though, I feel really fucking bad right now....  I had 3 guys on my plate... And if Cammy is added it will be 4...... Adam, Simon, Ivan........ What the heck!!! They are all really good people. But so far Adam is #1 because I know that he loves me and knows me the most! I also love him and know him the most!

But le sigh.... I'm not into committed relationships or anything of that sort at the moment... I want some time to explore and see what kind of guys out there. To be honest being in that 3 year relationship with Alex fucking scarred me for life... Knowing that I missed out on so many opportunities.. I don't want to feel that way again.... Want to feel completely free at the moment....... Because I know that once I get into a relationship I am strictly monogamous.... No joke!! And I'm not even forcing myself either, I just....get into that mode.

I don't want to break any hearts.... What to do... What to do... I am a fucking horn dog though and I am severely lacking affection............. So I feel like I'm going to pounce on the guy the gets physically closest to me.... If Adam was out of jail it would definitely be with him.... But at the same time, I don't want to ruin the relationship that we have at the moment....!! It's good the way it is!!

Gosh, when Simon was dancing with me...... I got really aroused..... He definitely knows how to touch.... He didn't touch my private no no areas, just my thighs and stomach and we were holding hands at short points in the night! Eeeeeeh... Wanna do it again but to music that we can actually properly dance/grind to.  I feel that we were both nervous and went a bit too fast and didn't go very well to the music. Fucking dumb........ Perhaps I shall invite him to Cantina tomorrow? Iono.

Gosh damn it Dan Tam. Why the fuck do you have so many guys at the moment...... @_@ You never asked for this or want any of this.... But I guess I have to make do with it and see how things go with them...

Oh my goodness... I feel like I really need to go and see Ritha and see how things are... That's $25 right there.. It's okay............ I just got my check.... It will be a good investment I think.

Kinda sad and mad that Thu won't fucking hit me up when she's free to hang out with me. She's not making the effort, I'm the only one initiating.... But I guess she's the type where people have to initiate to hang out with her nowadays.....

Whatevers, I'm just living life, trying to be a good girl. Need to do TWICE the work on my spreadsheet for tomorrow because I didn't get around to doing it today. I'm a BAD GIRL!!!

I would also like to be thankful and grateful for this life of mine..... I am so grateful and feel very lucky to be so fortunate.... With every aspect of life....

They stare at me while I crave you.......

Found a picture I drew from literally over 10 years ago.....




"ROBOCHU"