You say you despise wasting.........
Yet you contradict yourself and do it.

You say a lot of things.......... And continually contradict yourself.
I don't really know what to think of you.
Mixed feelings about you.

You complain a lot. But don't do anything to fix it.
It really bothers me....

You were intriguing, but not so intriguing to me anymore.

Growing up in a military involved environment I have seen the increase in the conditioning to violence that the American people have been put through. It makes me sad to know that there is no turning back now. War and conflict is now at a critical level with China now making serious militaristic gestures that are not being shown on American television. Blind To Reality is how I see the average American who have received a very basic and useless education in their childhood / teen years. I understand that most people do not have the time like I do to investigate the hard issues the world now faces. I read strictly non-fiction on a daily basis and sometimes I regret doing so for I now see the world as a hopeless game played on good people by wealthy heartless 'elites = selfish humans'. For this reason I have mentally and spiritually made a return to Christ and prayer.

Adam told me to go check out this song and the non-fiction that 6blocc reads on a daily basis (via private messages). I'm really diggin' the track.  Might go see him on June 1? He's playing down here again I believe, not quite sure where though.  But ima get down with you in my spirits Adam!

This description is very true.  Although I'm not quite sure about the whole China ordeal.  I need to do more research on that.  America's military is big enough to scare China... Or so I'm told.... We'll see.

Tutu babez is such a fucking amazing person............
I can't wait to hang out with this girl on Wednesday!
I feel that we are going to have a great time bonding...

Also, Reiki healing session. Fuck yeah!!! Excited for that also.
Now I'm getting interested in this.......subject of metaphysics.

I want to learn the ways of Reiki and heal Adam.
I think that would be really good for him!

We'll see! I have to go find a master.

   [00:20] OMGasdfALEX: Hi.
    [00:20] Briceratopss: Hola
    [00:21] OMGasdfALEX: I'm going to use your shoulder
    [00:21] OMGasdfALEX: As a tissue
    [00:21] OMGasdfALEX: If you don't mind
    [00:21] Briceratopss: That's totally fine
    [00:22] Briceratopss: If you need nything, just ask
    [00:22] OMGasdfALEX: Half of my brain tells me to move on.
    [00:23] OMGasdfALEX: Half of my brain tells me to die.
    [00:24] OMGasdfALEX: Tammie and I broke up.
    [00:24] OMGasdfALEX: I'm completely devastated.
    [00:25] OMGasdfALEX: I don't know what to do.
    [00:26] OMGasdfALEX: I'm supposed to look to my friends for support in such times.
    [00:27] OMGasdfALEX: And I really don't have many friends whom I would feel comfortable telling such things to.
    [00:27] OMGasdfALEX: If I don't move on I'll die.
    [00:27] OMGasdfALEX: How's that for a shocker?
    [00:28] Briceratopss: Well, what you two had was pretty intense
    [00:28] Briceratopss: ...wrong word, significant
    [00:29] OMGasdfALEX: She simply wants to see what else is out there.
    [00:30] OMGasdfALEX: I have nothing to hide behind.
    [00:30] OMGasdfALEX: As expected, my outlook for the future is bleak and barren.
    [00:30] OMGasdfALEX: But my best friend was Tammie.
    [00:30] OMGasdfALEX: I have like 4.
    [00:30] OMGasdfALEX: Well, 3 now.
    [00:30] OMGasdfALEX: 2 are asleep.
    [00:30] OMGasdfALEX: And 1 is you.
    [00:30] OMGasdfALEX: What's horrible is it was nothing I could control.
    [00:30] OMGasdfALEX: And it was nothing I did wrong.
    [00:30] OMGasdfALEX: It really is devastating, because I have nothing to blame.
    [00:30] Briceratopss: That sounds like the worst fate of all
    [00:31] Briceratopss: I don't know really what to say.
    [00:32] Briceratopss: I mean, I'm here for you, but I'm at a loss of words
    [00:37] OMGasdfALEX: What can you say?
    [00:37] OMGasdfALEX: Cheer up? It'll heal with time?
    [00:37] OMGasdfALEX: Listening helps more than anything.
    [00:37] OMGasdfALEX: I don't need you to say anything important.
    [00:37] OMGasdfALEX: The mere fact that someone will listen to my pain and empathize is a small relief.
    [00:37] OMGasdfALEX: Never saw it coming.
    [00:37] OMGasdfALEX: Major self-esteem blow.
    [00:37] OMGasdfALEX: The works.
    [00:37] OMGasdfALEX: Thanks for listening.
    [00:37] OMGasdfALEX: I'm going to get intoxicated and sleep now.    [00:20] Briceratopss: Hola
    [00:21] OMGasdfALEX: I'm going to use your shoulder
    [00:21] OMGasdfALEX: As a tissue
    [00:21] OMGasdfALEX: If you don't mind
    [00:21] Briceratopss: That's totally fine
    [00:22] Briceratopss: If you need nything, just ask
    [00:22] OMGasdfALEX: Half of my brain tells me to move on.
    [00:23] OMGasdfALEX: Half of my brain tells me to die.
    [00:24] OMGasdfALEX: Tammie and I broke up.
    [00:24] OMGasdfALEX: I'm completely devastated.
    [00:25] OMGasdfALEX: I don't know what to do.
    [00:26] OMGasdfALEX: I'm supposed to look to my friends for support in such times.
    [00:27] OMGasdfALEX: And I really don't have many friends whom I would feel comfortable telling such things to.
    [00:27] OMGasdfALEX: If I don't move on I'll die.
    [00:27] OMGasdfALEX: How's that for a shocker?
    [00:28] Briceratopss: Well, what you two had was pretty intense
    [00:28] Briceratopss: ...wrong word, significant
    [00:29] OMGasdfALEX: She simply wants to see what else is out there.
    [00:30] OMGasdfALEX: I have nothing to hide behind.
    [00:30] OMGasdfALEX: As expected, my outlook for the future is bleak and barren.
    [00:30] OMGasdfALEX: But my best friend was Tammie.
    [00:30] OMGasdfALEX: I have like 4.
    [00:30] OMGasdfALEX: Well, 3 now.
    [00:30] OMGasdfALEX: 2 are asleep.
    [00:30] OMGasdfALEX: And 1 is you.
    [00:30] OMGasdfALEX: What's horrible is it was nothing I could control.
    [00:30] OMGasdfALEX: And it was nothing I did wrong.
    [00:30] OMGasdfALEX: It really is devastating, because I have nothing to blame.
    [00:30] Briceratopss: That sounds like the worst fate of all
    [00:31] Briceratopss: I don't know really what to say.
    [00:32] Briceratopss: I mean, I'm here for you, but I'm at a loss of words
    [00:37] OMGasdfALEX: What can you say?
    [00:37] OMGasdfALEX: Cheer up? It'll heal with time?
    [00:37] OMGasdfALEX: Listening helps more than anything.
    [00:37] OMGasdfALEX: I don't need you to say anything important.
    [00:37] OMGasdfALEX: The mere fact that someone will listen to my pain and empathize is a small relief.
    [00:37] OMGasdfALEX: Never saw it coming.
    [00:37] OMGasdfALEX: Major self-esteem blow.
    [00:37] OMGasdfALEX: The works.
    [00:37] OMGasdfALEX: Thanks for listening.
    [00:37] OMGasdfALEX: I'm going to get intoxicated and sleep now.

Ahhh........ You're doing well now. See? I'm happy for you! Please don't be sad.


 briceratopss 10:07 pm
    He spoke to me recently

 mindofxminus 10:07 pm
    how was he doing?

 briceratopss 10:07 pm
    Well, at first, not so well, but it seems he doesn't need me to listen so I can presume better

Adam: You like butterflies?
DT: I GUEEEESSS SO......
Adam: You like magic card tricks?
DT: Sure!!
Adam: Alright, I'm going to flip each card, one by one and you're going to tell me when to stop. You're going to remember the card alright? And wait for further instructions.
DT: *watches him flip each card one by one* STOP! *sees a red diamond of 2's* *memorizes*

AH FUCK IT! I'm just going to vlog this shit! I feel writing this shit down won't capture the moment as well.

I NEED TO EXPRESS IT THROUGH GESTURES AND FACIAL EXPRESSIONS!!!!!!!

It will also give me reason to practice my editing skills if need be.

"But who can say what's best? That's why you need to grab whatever chance you have of happiness where you find it, and not worry about other people too much. My experience tells me that we get no more than two or three such chances in a life time, and if we let them go, we regret it for the rest of our lives." - Haruki Murakami

Goodness!
You are so gross!
Stop trying to flirt with your idol's girlfriend!

But whatevz. It's not my business!

But that's not how you make friends......
You're coming off as creepy...
Or at least that's how it looks like from my 3rd person POV.

I hope I don't start hating you after awhile...
But I keep on looking back and seeing how stupid I was... for staying so long...

There were so many beliefs that we clashed upon that I would've never agreed with if I wasn't so... blind...  So many core values that I just completely don't agree with.  I stopped seeing a future together awhile ago.... That's why I decided to end it.  I didn't want to waste my time.  Why did YOU want to waste your time? You said so yourself that you didn't even see us in the future together.... It only makes me feel like you're only using me for your own selfish needs.  A cure/fix for your loneliness and monophobia....... You've always been selfish.  The majority of the time you only thought about yourself and always put yourself first before me.  I don't even remember a time you put me over you...... There was always some kind of underlying thing that benefited you in a way whenever you agreed to do something "my" way.  If there weren't any benefits, you wouldn't have ever agreed upon it.  Wow.... Just talking about this makes me really sad.

I don't ever want to be that blind again.
Sure you satisfied my physical needs, but my mental needs were never really stimulated or nurtured by you... I honestly would rather be mentally satisfied than physically satisfied any day.  Mental connection lasts forever.  It's not very hard to find a person that's good at the physical.

We were only together because of familiarity and my tolerance/adaptability.
I don't ever want to just "settle", ever again.

I'm a fucking great person. I deserve the best of the best.